Occasionally you will encounter non-Christians (and even some Christians) who express misgivings about the nature of the God of the Bible. "What kind of repugnant character is this?" they ask. "He freely admits that He is a jealous God, and that He punishes children for the sins of their parents! How is that fair? How is that good?" As always, I believe an honest question deserves an honest answer.
In reference to the Second Commandment (against idols), Deuteronomy 5:9 does indeed state, "You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me."
Let's take this in parts.
Jealousy is considered a negative characteristic in today's world. The term conveys the image of angry, insecure lovers demanding that our full attention be focused on them exclusively. If we are in a relationship marked with jealousy, it is unpleasant and probably won't last long.
But the word "jealous" can also mean: "fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions." This is a potentially more positive shade of meaning.
In a healthy marriage, we would not expect a spouse to be possessive and act jealous for insignificant reasons. However, we would expect both spouses to vigorously demand marital faithfulness within their relationship. My wife is not the jealous type, but if I suggested to her that I wanted to date someone else, I suspect she would get upset fairly quickly - and that's a good thing! It shows that it's important to her that our relationship is exclusive because she knows that's the only way a healthy marriage can function.
God is jealous precisely because He is passionately protective of His special relationship with Israel. He doesn't want to see them stray and start chasing after false gods and idols. Why? Because He is insecure and needs to hoard all their worship to Himself? Because He is so egomaniacal that He cannot stand to share? Would we make the same accusations about a spouse who doesn't want his wife or her husband to stray? Hardly.
God is jealous and insists on absolute faithfulness on the part of Israel because He knows that it is ultimately in their best interest. If we truly believe that God is Who He says He is, that He is the Supreme Being in the universe and that our lives were originally meant to run on Him in the first place, then the best "good" that we can hope for in life is to be in a positive relationship with Him. Why is the Greatest Commandment in the New Testament to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength? Is it because He needs that? No, it is because we do! It breaks God's heart to see us substitute His place and priority in our lives with anything cheaper and false (an idol), because He knows that it only will lead to our hearts being broken.
Which brings us to the second objection. Why doesn't God just punish people for their own sins? What's this about punishing children for the sins of their parents, even to the third and fourth generation? How is that possibly fair? Verse 9 sounds more vindictive than loving.
Personally, I believe this statement is not punitive against the innocent, so much as it is a word of warning to those who would set out to rebel against the Lord. God is telling them in advance that their will be serious consequences for their family. Isn't this the way the world works? We try very hard in modern society to protect people from consequences, but the universe is designed in such a way that there are unavoidable consequences to our behavior. When we sin and disrupt the spiritual health in our home, it leads to negative consequences for the next generations. Consider the impact that such vices as alcoholism or drug addiction or adultery have on families. These acts leave spiritual traces that affect the children and grandchildren yet to come. God is simply stating the facts of life to those tempted to engage in rebellious sin - there will be consequences for your descendants.
Finally - and here I believe is the really important part - God frames this discussion in such a way as to emphasize the nature of His grace. It is essential to keep reading on through the next verse! Our children and grandchildren may suffer the consequences of the evil that we indulge in, but consider the beauty of God's marvelous promise in verse 10: "But showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments." That isn't fair, either, but the disproportionate consequences of our actions on the next generation run in favor of blessings rather than curses, on the order of a thousand to three!
That's the jealous God I know and love!
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